John, Maddened's posts - Japanese uPOST

Wow, This Band Was Terrible Wow, This Band Was Terrible

I had totally forgotten about this band and this song that was one of its hits and which had a video designed for it that was a lot like Van Halen’s “Right Now,” except without the pothead-friendliness that more than made up for the latter’s arguably embarrassing earnestness, until I was wandering aimlessly in a drug…

Deadspin Stable Fuller, More Robust in Wake of Gawker's Demise Deadspin Stable Fuller, More Robust in Wake of Gawker's Demise

Now there’s Hamilton Nolan, for instance.

That Guy Who's Not Me? He's Not Me. That Guy Who's Not Me? He's Not Me.

Probably no one’s noticed or gives a damn. But this guy? Not me.

O'Hare, 1991 (or so)

Against their better judgement, my parents took my sisters, my brother, and me to California for two weeks of fairly miserable, mostly unmemorable experiences in Santa Barbara and Yosemite. It rained a lot, and a bear broke into a stranger's minivan, prompting my dad to lecture us kids about never leaving food in a…

A Long-winded Account of How I Set the Stage For My Own Ass-Kicking

Why did I join a fraternity in college? Mainly to get easy access to drugs. Also, it beat sitting in the dorm on weekend nights and sipping Jansport-smuggled vodka handles while playing MarioKart, watching Seven for the umpteenth time, and looking for hopeless excuses to go upstairs and wander the girls' floor, where…

A Band I Grew Away From: Tool A Band I Grew Away From: Tool

This is a rough timeline of my relationship with the music and putative art of the band Tool, which began when I was thirteen and has basically been over for several years now, unless the affair can be said to live on through the occasional Googling, which I perform with the same faint curiosity that causes me to…

A Belated Haiku

Finished in the stall

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