Drew Magary's posts - Japanese uPOST

Down With Big
Scooter Down With Big Scooter

Today, we’re talking about Chewbacca pooping, Trump, dinosaur fights, sneezing, and more.

Please God Bring Back Vine For Sports

Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here.

Huffy, Dopey Cy Young Voter Hangs Up On Incredibly Chill Old Radio Host Huffy, Dopey Cy Young Voter Hangs Up On Incredibly Chill Old Radio Host

I learned something really interesting today, which is that Steve Somers is still alive. You people out there probably know New York’s flagship sports talk radio station WFAN mainly because of comic book hater and sugar-free mafia cosplayer Mike Francesa. Ah, but when I was growing up, there was an entire ecosystem of…

Candy Versus Booze: Who Ya Got?! Candy Versus Booze: Who Ya Got?!

Today, we’re talking about woke Axl Rose, salt, rich assholes who exercise a lot, and more.

Cook For Yourself  Cook For Yourself 

My wife was out for a girls’ night and I was home alone with my three rowdy kids. To my enormous shame, I have yet to get my two younger kids to eat the same shit that my wife and I eat every night. I cook a regular meal, and then my boys eat chicken nuggets or cheese toast or some other garbage. Without a responsible…

I Forgot How Much It Rules To Watch Football At A Bar I Forgot How Much It Rules To Watch Football At A Bar

Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here.

Don’t Force Your
Sports Fandom Onto Other People’s Kids, You Asshole Don’t Force Your Sports Fandom Onto Other People’s Kids, You Asshole

Today, we’re talking about French fries, cocaine, college football, and more.

The Strange, Incredible Joy Of Warming Up

Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here.

Help! My Boss Just
Followed Me On Twitter Help! My Boss Just Followed Me On Twitter

Today, we’re talking about T-shirts, gorilla suits, flowers, peeing, and more.

There’s
Gonna Be A Live Deadcast Party In Nashville And Y’all Are Invited! There’s Gonna Be A Live Deadcast Party In Nashville And Y’all Are Invited!

NASHVILLE! MUSIC CITY! THE ATHENS OF THE SOUTH! HOTCHICKENTOWN! VANDYLAND! CUTLERVILLE! Y’ALLBANY! Nashville, we have never visited your fair city, but that shit is about to change, because we’re gonna do a live show and football watch party down there on November 5th! YEEEEEEEEEEHAW! YEE TO THE HAW! HAW TO THE YEE!…

How The Fuck Did So Many Teams Pass On Patrick
Mahomes? How The Fuck Did So Many Teams Pass On Patrick Mahomes?

Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here.

The 19 Boringest
Athletes Of All Time The 19 Boringest Athletes Of All Time

Today, we’re talking about pistachios, cults, Costco, crying, and more.

I desecrated $400 worth of caviar to prove a point I’ve now forgotten I desecrated $400 worth of caviar to prove a point I’ve now forgotten

For all its opulence and expense, the dirty little secret of caviar is that it is, in essence, a topping. It’s a condiment, and an unruly condiment at that. It’s a comically messy food for people who abhor messes. Its consistency means that it can often slide off of things with alarming ease. Getting caviar to stay on…

The NFL Is Screwing Over Defenses, And I Love It!

Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here.

Contract The Timberwolves Contract The Timberwolves

Today, we’re talking about pajamas, Nathan Peterman, liquor runs, and more.

John Gagliardi Was The Only Good Coach John Gagliardi Was The Only Good Coach

Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here.

Stop Using The Same Fucking GIFs Over And Over

Today, we’re talking about Drew Brees, water bottles, cake donuts, and more.

A Small Story About Nightmares A Small Story About Nightmares

I was alone in a hotel room on the East Side of Manhattan last week (PRO TIP: Never stay on the East Side of Manhattan during the UN General Assembly, unless you enjoy endless traffic barricades and the overwhelming stench of cologne in elevators), when I had a really bad nightmare. Like all dreams, the particulars of…

Today I Declare To
You That The Following Wideouts Are Dogshit Today I Declare To You That The Following Wideouts Are Dogshit

Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here.

You And I Are Eating Too Much Chicken

Today, we’re talking about Gritty, weddings, pissing in the woods, and more.

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