Nope!'s posts - Japanese uPOST

No questions. No second guessing. No sentimental hesitation. No “But it could definitely go another 100,000 miles.” No justifying the situation. No regrets. It is time to buy a new car.

Dearest One True Space Boy Elon Musk: I have located a suitable vehicle to act as your next test payload for when you want to shoot another car into space. It is a Cadillac SRX, but I think everyone will agree that it needs to be fired directly into the sun after a two-and-a-half-foot-long snake crawled out of one of…

Behold my latest nightmare fuel: surprise cows.

One man in Florida was surprised when a six-foot snake emerged from his Hyundai’s hood during rush hour on U.S. Highway 19, reports WTSP. Surprisingly, that car is not on fire at the bottom of a ravine (like it should be), although consider this my request to nuke it from orbit just to be sure.

In case you hadn’t noticed, clowns are terrifying pretty much everyone. Clowns in the woods, clowns threatening schools—you get the idea. But this clown is straight out of a horror plot, hanging from the back of a vehicle like a true menace to society. We can’t run anymore. The clowns are mobile.

Red Bull Racing F1 driver Daniel Ricciardo narrowly missed out on HIS FACE GETTING STUNG BY A GIANT FREAKIN’ WASP HOLY CRAP KILL IT WITH FIRE.

Driving a race car is a dangerous activity, which is why celebrations in victory lane should be enjoyable and not the stuff of your worst nightmares. Right? No, not right. There are race tracks out there that make winning drivers pose for photos with live bears, rattlesnakes and other dangerous animals—oh my!

Unless you’re a podiatrist, or perhaps one of those people who revels in seeing gross stuff on the Internet, you might not want to look at this tweet by NASCAR driver Kevin Harvick. With that disclaimer, your own morbid curiosity is going to get the best of you and force you to look, right? Right. Here we go!

The Havana, Illinois police department says be careful on the bridge; it’s covered in bugs. As in– six inches deep with mud made of insect.

A nasty electrical fire took Clint Bowyer out early from today’s Toyota/Save Mart 350 at Sonoma Raceway. Nothing has encapsulated the term “nope” more than Bowyer’s quick exit and helmet toss following this particularly grody-smelling car-b-que.

Statistically, flying is the safest way to travel and you practically have nothing to worry about, but here’s what happens when that flies out the window. Buckle up.

Sometimes a racer tries a move that just makes you shake your head and go “nah.” Nah, man. Naaaaaah. Today, it happened in the last five minutes of the WeatherTech Sports Car Championship race at Long Beach. What on earth was this Porsche driver thinking?

We can all get behind the spirit of adventure. But fashioning a bike to a boat and attempting to cross the English Channel, then having said “BikeBoat” burst into flames and sink isn’t the best way to make your case on a crowdfunded expedition across the Bering Straight.

Africanized swarms of bees took to the back of Derrike Cope's hauler at last weekend's NASCAR Xfinity Axalta Faster. Tougher. Brighter. 200 at the Auto Club Speedway. One word: NOPE.

Riding in bad weather is a risk some of us are willing to take. Adding ice and snow to the mix increases that risk exponentially. But I'm pretty sure adding 10,000 screws to your tires isn't the answer.

Hi. I like race cars. I hate spiders. I have been known to unload entire cans of spider killer in my 944 after seeing one anemic little web in there. Here is a huge spider that came down in Nadja Pollard's Miata during a race. NOPE. NOPE. NOPE. NOPE. NOPE.

USA Today's car guy James R. Healey got one Ford's marketing executives to muse on the idea of a new, small truck "the size of the old Ranger" and we all got a little fired up. Unfortunately, Ford say that executive's views "are not shared by the company."

A Santa Fe woman was wondering why her Toyota Tacoma stopped when passerby Jackson Ault rendered assistance. He popped the hood like a gentleman then "freaked out a little bit" when he was greeted by a seven-foot python "flicking its little tongue, lookin' right at me."

You know it's a good time to burn your car to the ground when you find a GIANT SPIDER IN THE HEADLIGHT. I REPEAT: GIANT SPIDER IN THE HEADLIGHT.