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Donald Trump Definitely Needs Glasses Donald Trump Definitely Needs Glasses

It wasn’t supposed to be this way. The plan was just to keep on honking away like big idiots about the NBA playoffs for as long as we possibly could, and Drew and I were certainly ready to hold up our end of that bargain. But the stupendous lameness of the NBA playoffs at this moment and the simultaneous pyrotechnic…

In The Future, We Will All Gamble Constantly In The Future, We Will All Gamble Constantly

The NBA Playoffs should be at something like their apex right now, and in the least entertaining possible sense they may well be. There are four notionally entertaining teams left, and they have combined through four games for maybe three entertaining quarters. The league’s biggest and most brilliant stars are still…

The Rockets Aren't Fun To Watch The Rockets Aren't Fun To Watch

Spend a few days away from the drumbeat of dipshittery and various dreary outrages of Online and something happens to your brain. A bunch of things, actually, but I am thinking of one particular one—the mind, even the most web-damaged mind, returns to something like a normal state. This is not to say that the…

Deadcast Classics: Three Idiots Walk Into A Williams-Sonoma 

In a universe that is similar to but not quite the same as this one, a new and very strange Deadcast would appear in this space. Drew would probably be more or less the same as usual, but as I had just gotten off an overnight flight on Wednesday morning, it’s a virtual certainty that I would have been a psychedelic…

Marvel Vs. Star Wars: WHO YA GOT???!!?!?!?! Marvel Vs. Star Wars: WHO YA GOT???!!?!?!?!

The new Avengers movie drops tonight and so, bereft of better ideas, we thought now would be a good time to kick up a needless fanboy argument and ask: Do you prefer the Star Wars movies, or the Marvel MCU movies? Which one has your childhood stored in a crystal locket, soon to be crushed by an incompetent…

I’m Getting Pretty Fed The Fuck Up With James Comey

Former FBI director and self-appointed beacon of rectitude James Comey is currently in the midst of barnstorming the country’s numerous morning show sets to plug his new tell-all. And while I will gladly side with Comey in any tiff with the President or with Meghan McCain, I think I’ve had just about enough of his…

Should The Giants Trade Odell Beckham? Should The Giants Trade Odell Beckham?

Odell Beckham is the only reason you should ever watch a New York Giants game, but he also happens to be in the final year of his contract and coming off a busted ankle. He wants to get paid, but it’s hard to see the Giants ponying up when MISTER MARA is out there with a clenched jaw, openly fuming about his wideout…

Holy Diapers, It’s Time For Your Name Of The Year Deadcast

Every year we make a point of reading the Name of the Year bracket out loud, and every year the bracket succeeds in reducing me to a puddle of tears. But THIS bracket … my god man, this year’s bracket nearly killed me. I know I say every bracket is the strongest bracket ever, but holy shit. When you got Chardonnay…

Which MLB Teams Will Be The Most Fun, And Which Will Watch The Least Porn? Which MLB Teams Will Be The Most Fun, And Which Will Watch The Least Porn?

Opening Day is today, which means a bunch of middle-aged sportswriters get to put on their propeller beanies and clap their hands like trained seals and cry out YAY BASEBALL! to a relatively indifferent public. But I promise not to meh my way through this somewhat half-assed preview to the season. As someone who…

What Do We Do With Tiger Woods?

Tiger Woods is the favorite to win next month’s Masters, both from a gambling standpoint and a sentimental one. He hasn’t won a tournament in five years. He hasn’t won a major in 10. He’s attempting to come back not merely from personal disgrace, but also from a series of crippling back injuries and an even scarier …

The 2018 Hater’s Guide To The Field Of 68 The 2018 Hater’s Guide To The Field Of 68

The tournament starts today and, in accordance with sacred Deadspin tradition, it is our solemn duty to say a bunch of ignorant, awful shit about all of the teams in this year’s field. Like Tennessee! You think I’m buying Tennessee men’s basketball doing ANYTHING worth a shit? I don’t think so. That team is gonna get…

Holland House At The Olympics Had A Designated Sex Room

I know that the Olympics fades from the collective consciousness the second the closing ceremonies end, if not sooner! But this week, Deadspin Olympics correspondent Hannah Keyser came onto the DEADCAST to debrief us on her time in Pyeongchang and ended up giving us an EXCLUSIVE BACKSTAGE LOOK at how your Olympics…

Roger Goodell And Jerry Jones Must Fight To The Death For The Good Of America

By now you know that NFL Commissioner and comic book henchman Roger Goodell is planning to fine Jerry Jones $2 million for DISGRACING THE SHIELD, and that Jones plans on appealing this fine to Goodell personally. If this goes the way of every other NFL billionaire quarrel, both men will leak harsh words about one…

There Should Be More Winter Olympic Sports There Should Be More Winter Olympic Sports

The Summer Olympics and Winter Olympics each span 17 days. The Summer Olympics has 43 different sports. The Winter Olympics has 15 different sports. This is a problem. I want to be positively bukkaked by hot sports action during any given Olympiad, and there aren’t nearly enough winter events to do the job right now.…

Which Fanbase Looks The Most Like Its Coach? Which Fanbase Looks The Most Like Its Coach?

On this week’s Deadcast, our own (now departed) Lindsey Adler noted that most Orioles fans look like manager Buck Showalter, and now I am haunted by the specter of 40,000 dour goons packing into Camden Yards, all wearing satin jackets that are definitely one size too small. But Showalter is hardly alone in being the…

Eagles Fans Went Full Asshole And It Worked

Earlier in the playoffs, we had a small discussion over whether it was better to be a mopey fatalist of a fan who always braces for the worst, or to be an oblivious, preening asswipe… the kind of fan that will talk shit even when they’re down by 40. Well, now that the Eagles have won the Super Bowl, I have my answer.…

Let’s Talk About This Weird Pope Chair Let’s Talk About This Weird Pope Chair

Folks, this week’s Deadcast was taped LIVE from gorgeous Saint Paul, Minnesota. People came! There was beer! I swear I’m not making any of this up.

The Hottest Take: The Cavs Should Trade LeBron

The Cleveland Cavaliers suck. They can’t play defense. They’re accusing each other of faking sick. And while it has become ritual for this team to endure a prolonged stretch of eating shit in the regular season before getting their act together in time to brush the rest of an eternally weak Eastern Conference aside in…

Is It Better To Be A Fatalist Fan Or A Raging Asswipe?

There are a lot of ways for football fans to be insufferable. You have your fatalist fans like me who always expect the worst and expect you to pity them. And you have your loudmouth asswipe fans who brag about their team constantly and outright refuse to acknowledge when they’ve been owned on the field. Sometimes you…

Who Will Be The Next Deadspin Editor? Who Will Be The Next Deadspin Editor?

I don’t know if you know this, but Deadspin editor-in-chief and artisanal land hermit Tim Marchman is moving over to the Gizmodo Special Projects desk, where he will be free to track down all the precious alien alloys. That means we need someone to run this very website. Who will be the next person to ruin Deadspin?…

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